shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
just to let you know, don't open your linen closet for a while until i come over with a cleaning kit and geek squad
Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
Bc when the owner of your local gay bar and a drag king ask you to take them to a rival gay bar 2hrs away at 4 in the morning YOU GO.
You demanded I give you a glass of water, so I set it down in front of you and you knock it over and roll in it..,
I wanted to be a dolphin.
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
The money is just too good to quit doing it. I'm using the same justification strippers use.
Yeah dude. Pulled out the couch and a bird flew at me. Please tell me who put a bird in my house.
Update: That guy is no longer in the restroom, so he's probably not dead.
I was standing in my mom's kitchen in only my neon green thong, eating pizza over the garbage can, and sobbing while he was yelling at me.
You've lost booty call privileges between the hours of 10pm and 8am.
I was eating pickles straight from a jar, contemplating doing something productive. What did I miss?
Idk what's happening right now but im wearing a tutu and pissed as fuck.
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
Randomize
