You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
she was pretty much dry humping my leg when her boyfriend walked in. he says "you should probably leave." all i could come up with was "YEAH, I KNOW!"
She ordered a salad and a budweiser. I love her.
I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
Exactly how does jacking off in my purse count as a 'early christmas present'?
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
why is my new profile picture on Facebook one of me with a bunch of strangers on an elevator?
its warm now so i can go back to sleeping with guys based on their fuckability rather than how much warmth they generate.
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
I'm sorry I came to your house drunk and fed pizza to your dog.
His flight is delayed. Mother Nature is delaying me from sex.
i think my cat just said my name.
I broke her handcuffs. I feel like an animal.
we woke up when the front wall of the house caught fire.
Randomize
