so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
i was so blacked out at my family party.. my mom gave markers to all my little cousins. i was tagged by 5 year olds.
There's two girls at the bar sniffing each others boobs.
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
some fat dude with wolverine facial hair just walked out of your room with a snuggie. explanation needed.
we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
We're going to catch a squirrel this summer
You were telling me last night 101 proof was nothing and you needed 400 proof or better yet military or marine proof, because you're marine grade.... You rascal.
I'm puking in a turkey pan....
after the fucking you spent twenty minutes vomiting naked and shaking your dick at my roommates. luckily, i don't remember that, or i'd have to be really insulted.
I would have cried, probably tears of wine, but cried nonetheless.
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
I just put on the jeans I was wearing last night and pulled 4 baby carrots out of my back pocket....
Also I found $40 in the women's bathroom at ihop. Karma is finally kicking in!
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
He wants to play improv games now whenever he gets drunk. Sometimes I just do not have the energy for that kind of a thing
Randomize
