lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
I think I just saw someone hide a body.
I just jerked it to the same porn two nights in a row... and she says I have problems with commitment...
this is the second time this summer that a girl has called me a ken dol
you shouldn't let them see you without your pants on
Katie Perry lied, you can't just wake up and shake the glitter off your clothes.
Say it nicely.
Fine. I want to lovingly bend you over and lovingly fuck the shit out of you. Happy?
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
Well I turned her sobriety into my own personal drinking game
He's thawing a cheesecake on his stomach. We're that high.
That tingly feeling you're experiencing in your lady parts is my mustache. All the ladies of America are waking up feeling the same thing. You're welcome.
I try not to flex my sex appeal too much around the engineers, it's like feeding bears...always ends in disaster.
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
You know you're stoned when you tell your dog you're stoned only to realise he's not in the pickup
Randomize
