we were pretty classy up until the second keg
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
A girl just asked me to co-sign for her boob job because she didn't have enough credit built up. This is a first.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
I may or may not juuuust be reaching the point where I find some humor from waking up in the parking lot at the standard.
We just laid there in bed together, petting his dick and repeating, "IT FEELS LIKE VELVET!!!"
nothing says "functioning mature adult" like sneaking beer out of your mom's fridge in a lunchbox
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
I can hear my family downstairs singing Christmas carols as I masturbate
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
I don't know if your celebrity crush has ever asked you for nudes, but it's fucking awesome
this is a save-me-from-tijuana-tequila-and-hoookers booty call. if i don't hear from you by 8pm i'm grabbing my passport
if i'm not back tomorrow call the embassy
It was like a single vaginal boat in a sea of one eyed monsters
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