jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
Found my phone laying in a snow angel outside my apt this morning.
just had an awkward elevator run in with that guy you puked on
You fell asleep with your fingers in my vagina. You made this a relationship.
Seriously, I woke you up with tacos, I think I deserve the best girlfriend ever award
After getting rejected by him, I got a strangely pleasant dick pic from an unknown number with the caption: "I hope this gets you through the night ;)" It's like the Cock-Gods were shining down upon me.
That's one good thing about being an only child. I can masturbate wherever the fuck I want
We drunkenly built a couch fort and fucked in it. I've known her since preschool. This was every childhood fantasy mixed with adult dreams come true.
I had my room mate call my phone after last night and it was in an uncooked quesadilla
my birth father cheated on his wife with my birth mother. it's literally in my blood to be a home wrecker.
Remember when we got high off our ass and you talked me into running in place then punched me in the face and said it was a wall?
Ya, you were bleeding for an hour and a half
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
Everybody at Lexi's party found out I'm both a screamer and a moaner after he ate me out on the pool table downstairs. Just another sunday night in Alaska
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