he has cookie breath... dont trust fat people.
I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
So he told me he didn't have a condom, paused, and then said "so, pulling out" and tried to high five me.
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
Does anyone know why "math wizard" is written on my arm?
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
The best, and by the best I mean the worst, was the 7 month along pregnant chick in the skin tight body suit.
You stole a fry from a complete stranger. He wasn't happy. Then you said fuck it and stole the whole poutine and ran down the street while he stared in shock.
STOP WHATEVER YOU ARE DOING AND GO OUTSIDE RIGHT NOW. THE MOON LOOKS LIKE CATWOMAN
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
Someone somewhere has a picture of me vomiting in a bus stop trash can while a drag queen held my hair for me.
Pride claims another victim
We fucked while The Odyssey played in the background. Homer would be proud.
never let me tell the bartender to cut me off, i basically told on myself
He's a wizard, there is no other explanation for how hard I came last night. None.
He licked me while I ate pretzels and chips. I was really living my best life.
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