If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
Let's go to weight watchers and eat in front of them.
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
Well, think of it this way, if this were 200 years ago your father would have received the most goats in all the village for your fertile loins. Think about that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey couldn't find water bottle to put margs in whole bottle in purse gonna stop and get cups and ice from starbucks and burrito from una mas want a quesadilla
I really gotta be careful. My email inbox is equal parts notifications from instructors and this dude's dick. If I get drunk and reply to the wrong thing I might get kicked out of grad school.
I distinctly remember holding up a piece of ham pizza and screaming: "WHO THE FUCK EATS HAM PIZZA" in the face of a bunch of scared 13 year old girls faces, while my own sister laughed in mine.
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
Just realized my relationship wasn't even Facebook official and I'd already cheated on him. 'Shitty girlfriend' is an understatement.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude. There are selfies on my phone of me, wide-eyed, sucking my pillow. We did NOT split that bag 50/50.
I just put vagisil on my bug bites how do you think my morning is going
Too bad, iambic pentameter is a drunk specialty of mine.
I’ve lost count of how many disciplines of science this conversation about Harry Potter has gone through.
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
Never underestimate the power of titties
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