so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
frozen peaches as icecubes. vodka Sundays just got wayyyy better
his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
you yelled "you will never make love to jesus" and then ran into the tv.
Sleepwalking naked until I was 12 made it so much easier to get away with drinking at moms now.
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
I found a lucrative side business - giving rides home to drunk oil executives. Very profitable.
If I was gonna be at your campus for halloween weekend, I'd dress up as the masked horny fairy and give out condoms. I'm so thoughtful.
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
Look, sometimes you have to snapchat a topless photo of yourself in the middle of class just to prove you can. I can and I did. End of argument.
She pinched my nipples out of nowhere as I was about to come... I think I found god
A boy in some branch of the military kissed me I think I'm going through an American sniper phase
Dude I'm hungover as fuck in a bed in Baltimore with another man... I don't think I can make it.
Hey I'm trying to get back with my ex I'mm done doing whatever we were doing I hope things workout for you
Weird flex but ok.
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