Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
I'm gonna put my relationship status as "widowed" to see if it helps me get some poon.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
dude, it should not be this hard to find a bottomless mimosa on a friday morning
Call me when you wake up. I wanna start drinking but I'm giving up hope on my life if I drink alone before 10 am
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm at work. It's margarita night. Someone literally just shouted "MURICUH!"
God bless us, everyone.
Is the booze for tonight or the apocalypse?
Both. Pregaming the zombie party and hurricane sustenance.
I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
My Sundays are fucking awful. Can't get a blow job.....can't get a win.
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
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