considering i was high when my dad made me pee in the cup i might fail this one
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
Just because its your birthday does not mean u can play quarters by dropping quarters into cups to make me drink.
Also I'd like you to set a calendar reminder that goes off every day for you to take 2 minutes to think about what your life would be like without me.
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
But I swear to god if I'm awkwardly there while you try to have sex with someone again I'm getting high with your dad
She brought over her portable harddrive and we dueled with porn. This relationship is too beautiful to last.
VOOOODKA VOOODKA WE PLEDGE OUR LOVE TO THEEEE VODKAAAA VODKAAAA SAVIOR OF LIBERTYYYY
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
I tried to light my cup as a bong. I'm done drinking
Her car is covered in frozen vomit, and she lost her iPhone. I'm also pretty sure I smoked crack last night. Rest in peace 2014.
If sandwichs had dicks, my life would be complete
Wanna meet at the diner for breakfast? all I've eaten in the past 24 hours is glitter and penis. starvingg.
I threw up in my 8 AM. Morale is low.
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
Randomize
