I don't wanna do a drive in or see a movie tonight. I wanna play some Golden Tee and butt fuck a girl in the bathroom of some bar and proceed with Golden Tee
YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
I don't know where I am but there are firefighters
Currently bar hopping with 30 Navy SEALS. I know i'm safe but damn its hard to pick up chicks when you feel like a big pussy.
I found a wheel chair. there is now a high chance im going to be fired from this job
well at least you didnt have sex with him. i feel like a proud mother. you always have sex with them.
Well someone named our apartment "the eiffel tower" on facebook check-in so I think they know..
He was crying because he hiccuped every time he kissed me. We then crawled to the kitchen because neither of us could stand, and I spoon-fed him peanut butter "to cure his ailment."
Just so were clear I meant the head your face is on
Why is there a muffler in the livingroom?
First, I just want to say that I had nothing to do with it. Second, how good is your car insurance?
Going to the bathroom drunk while wearing overalls is such a struggle
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
What has my life become? I'be officially recruited my fuck buddy for help getting my ex back.
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
Randomize
