no, he came in my armpit
Seriously, stop peeing all over the toilet seat. It looks like movie theatre butter.
things I have learned from cosmo today- 40% of guys are uncircumsized, you can have a beer facial, and i really need to get tested for std's
You wrote me a letter and I cannot make out anything you wrote except the last sentence which says "tell the wolf ill meet him at sunset and that I'm sorrry"
I gave him 3 xanax and recorded the ball drop. He's gonna think tonight is New Years.
We had a pillow fight. It looks like an angel exploded here. A DRUNK ALCOHOLIC ANGEL
I was convinced to buy a man thong.
But it's Armani so it's okay.
God I just out gayed myself.
things I never thought I would say vol. 24 "Bagpipes just remind me that my relationship is over"
I totally almost forgot you fucked that guy. St. Patty's bar crawls always have a drawback.
And I'm sorry for punching you in the face when I drunkenly threw my sandwich
On a happier note, I can fit in my old shorts. Dope does have its perks
I was so horny last night, I failed to let him know about my current bed bug infestation.
I'm really going to need you to stop yelling Campari.
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
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