the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
Well, I'm eating cake, watching wedding videos of people I don't know, and crying. Clearly I'm a vision of mental health today
i feel like i was in a swimming pool of captain and coke and had to drink my way out
When I opened my laptop there was a half eaten little debbie oatmeal cream pie inside.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just because you put plan b in my Easter basket doesn't give you an excuse not to wear a condom.
Valuable lesson learned: if you reach the point where you have to talk yourself in to finishing the last half of your beer, you shouldn't try.
Lets play hurricane shelter. And the shelter is my bed, and we forgot our clothes.
i may or may not have bought a plane ticket for a russian cam girl to fly here. also, can you spot me $300 on rent?
I told ya. I'm super awesome at making things super awkward. I'm the Awkwardnator.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You told me you were trying to learn all the MLB ballparks while you waited for your porn to load.
Congrats you've received dick pics from an Olympic silver medalist
Why would you keep yourself in a sharting situation
We were driving past a farm when he screamed at me to stop the car, then he jumped out and tried to ride a cow.
This is not a test of the emergency warning system. He has broken my vagina. I repeat he has broken my vagina. Damn it was good.
My last one night stand called me today. Apparently I gave him a yeast infection in his mouth. Not sure how I should feel about this.
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