Just incase you were wondering, the count of ladies who have perioded on chairs at our fine restaurant is now at 3.
you kept eating the heads off the gummy bears and screaming 'euthanized!'
after he passed out we removed everything electronic from his room, stuck in some old books and an ancient typewriter from goodwill. for 20 min. we had him convinced he'd drunk himself backward in time.
it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
We just found a handle of vodka in our fridge and no one knows how it got there. God I love spring break.
I need $500 dollars more than I need a night of dignity... I gonna do it.
im hiding in a corner. drunk. with a plate of stolen jello shots. im pretty sure people are looking for me or the jello shots.
just had an awkward elevator run in with that guy you puked on
Using that mug my little cousin painted for me as an ashtray for my weed...at least next time he asks me if I'm using it I can say yes
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
I am not getting you a goat.
Fair enough. I am not going out with you. The goat was not negotiable.
my cockatiel has aquired a taste for beer. I should not be allowed to own exotic pets.
Randomize
