porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
i was born a porn star she said
I walked in on my roommate finishing watching something on his computer. There was cum all over his screen. He awkwardly said hi and pulled up his pants.
We George Forman grilled some girls phone last night.
he left me a note this morning. it said "thank you for letting me touch you"
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
My building was evacuated who wants to quake and bake
Apparently you need a permit for a flamethrower.
Tomorrow, if I don't look at least 5% better than I do on a regular day to day basis, I want you to hit me and tell me that no one will ever love me if I continue to look like I just rolled out of a cocaine induced hibernation. I'm asking you for tough love.
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
I think I collapsed a disk in my spine when I drunkenly lifted that fat girl on my shoulders to chicken fight at the pool.
You raged at the rock climbing place for not selling beer and then just said "fuck it" and pulled out a flask.
I can't remember dinner
Hahaha "rub in the ketchup on your face, It'll just look like blush." some gay waiter said that to you, and you go "good idea!"
Oh no that was the time I did the walk of shame with no shoes
Gotta wait until my full time offer is confirmed before I try to fuck the mid level manager
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