mark looks like s**t tonight! thank da lawd we broke up!
it's mark...i'm guessing you didn't mean to send that to me...
wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
Hey when you come over to pick me up in the mornin bring a camera. This is going to be legendary. Don't knock.... They might cover up
I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
You can't see him, he's in front of the dildo, but Amelia Earhart is blocking your view.
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
Apparently as I was doing the walk of shame home my dad's date was on her way to hers. hoes come in all ages these days
I just ate a bag of doritos while taking a shower. I can now officially do anything
I am currently explaining what double penetration is to the bridesmaid I hooked up with at my cousin's wedding. This is my life.
This old guy just saw me toking on my bubbler before I go to the dentist. He gave me the nod.
What's a good pandora station to masturbate to?
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
My boss want to throw me an everclear birthday.
How... how did you get Adam Lambert's shoes? Does he know you have them? DID YOU STEAL ADAM LAMBERT'S SHOES?! Oh my God I am so turned on right now.
Randomize
