At a strip club after monster truck rally. You should be here
i should go to a nude beach and wear just a condom, then ill have tan lines on my dick
I took her to see 2012 then broke up with her, the movie was a metaphor.
i convinced her i was a yoga teacher by showing her some warm-ups my high school track coach made up
theres a difference between trying to make someone happy and letting them fuck you in the ass
Sorry I kept grabbing your vagina at the casino. I believed it was my lucky unicorn to win bonuses
He was hiding behind my bedroom door. at noon. Wearing a t shirt. And a condom. Not attractive.
Listening to Ke$ha's new single to pump myself up for my STD test.
Can't keep a straight face around her after she asked me to "make fuck to her."
She's calming us down by shoving oreos in our mouths
Hey guys guess what I found in my bed this morning? I wish it was a man..but it was a potato
I forced myself to puke in my garbage can, and the next day I bought a new one and burnt the old one. You could say it was a rough night
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
My day went from bad to worse when I realized I puked out my second floor window last night.
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
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