i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
He just kept yelling woof and then threw money all over me...
Why wouldn't u just let me ride the washing machine
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
I can already almost taste penis in my mouth
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
Is it weird to say that Kobe reminds me of a wise brontosaurus?
You better fucking tell me or I'm turning blow job week into go fuck yourself week.
I know it sounds all cute and shit that I wanted him to be with me last night, but it's not cute. I just wanted to fuck.
doing the walk of shame back to your house in nothing but a bed sheet was definitely not one of my proudest moments..
"Nobody needs to know that I have a vibrating butt plug and nobody needs to know that I'm probably gonna start wearing it at work"
I PUT IT IN THE UNIVERSE THAT I WANTED TO STAB HIM AND THEN SOMEONE DID! KARMA IS A BITCH AND SHE IS BEAUTIFUL!
I got really stoned and got my certification as an ordained minister. How productive has your day been?
Im crying watching 9/11 footage eating spray can cheese in my pajamas.
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