I wish I could drop acid with the muppets
his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
listening to the two girls in the next stall finish a 40 and laugh at this guy they both fucked. they're calling him 'tulip dick'.
Beer pong consisted of me throwing a ball at the wall and then falling over because moving my arm made me dizzy. I think our team lost.
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
So then I proceeded to the kitchen to make my "specialty," which consisted of a frozen veggie burger topped with peanut butter. I guess he ate it too.
Sending a dick pic with a 2010 time stamp on it is violation of proper sexting etiquette
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
Side note, from now on any snap chat I get that isn't interesting enough... Is getting a dick in response. Judge your snaps accordingly
Hes done the math! Hes calculated how much sex it's going to take to fuck 365 miles. Now thats a little brother im proud of. New resolutions are a go!
Election Day 2016 shall forever live in infamy as the day when I hobbled through my neighborhood, mascara melting down my face, wearing one slipper and a cast, blood and cum all over my skirt, carrying a box of wine, and no one even noticed.
I woke up saran wrapped to a chair....
You are a genius and a whore.
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
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