I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
i really wish someone from a royal background would fuck me so i could literally say i was 'royally fucked'.
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
Well at least it wasn't the first time I threw up out of a second story window
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
Most of the bar is playing trivia I'm playing destroy a relationship in twenty questions
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
we're a generation of lazy underachieving stoners and uncreative overachieving automatons. you're golden
And then he said, "let's have sex and I'll send you home with enchiladas."
You fell asleep standing up against the shower wall
Please don't buy a buttplug. It won't fill the empty space in your heart.
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
We walking to the game and some random guy came up to to me and yelled "hey you're the whiskey guy!" And then high fived me then walked away
If you think me talking about that hot guy accepting my LinkedIn request is pornographic, I’m not sure how you’re gonna feel when I tell you I fucked a stranger on a park bench last weekend
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