i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
i need a wealthy benefactor or a cocktail job. or to start stripping. or kill myself. whatever.
He offered to take me out to a nice dinner but I told him I would rather he just pay for my beer this weekend
Well today was Thanksgiving Anti-Miracle Daydrinkathon so I had to be drunk by 2pm
She called me in the morning crying, but I was busy cleaning up bird guts, very hungover. It was a very surreal morning.
I will be naked everywhere
Post walk of shame: realized the underwear I put on when I left was another girl's underwear.... woof
Well I'll be shitfaced all day the 4th in honor of this great nation... but I'm down for drunken camping/nature fucking on the 5th
I just wanna get hammered somewhere crazy. Meet some chicks. Bang them and then go scuba diving.
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
She sent me nudes via email. What the fuck are we still in the 90s? Grow up
I will gladly accept you into my home with open legs.
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
Cant get off the floor. Need more beer. Send help.
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
Randomize
