I just spit my fake tooth out at a customer. I think he thought it was my bubble gum though so it's ok.
While my grandpa showed the family a slide show he accidentally included a topless photo of his new gf.
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
I hope this adventure ends at a hospital
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
yeah, i found the sharpie that everyone use to sign my tits last night. its dead.
I am omw to AA Fellowship by the sea w Jenny and a stripper who just paid for our jetski with 85 $1 bills
I'm having an emotional breakdown watching baby sloths on YouTube you need to come save me from myself.
Also, I just realized you seduced me while in a batman onesie... Well done, sir. Well done.
Whatever I'm getting wasted, my costume's bomb, and there's a good chance I'm getting laid. Not letting stupidity ruin my night!
Yeah because the only thing stopping you from fucking Emma Watson is you not being a Gryffindor
Think I have the only job where I can be naked in a room with my manager at work. Apart from hookers
It wasn't until I lost my earring that I realized "I've been here before". Turns out we fucked a year ago. We've decided to make it a tradition.
He punched me in the face while giving him road head, because he was driving stick. I shit you not.
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
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