I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
I imagine her to be like a 19th century explorer/adventurer with different boys' hearts on her wall like animal heads
Like Teddy Roosevelt
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
Maybe I don't remember every single thing... I think there's a hi lighter treasure map drawn on my arm...
I just found it. I hope it leads to food.
She keeps telling me I can't keep feeding the dog my food. I gave half the weed brownie to the dog and half to me. I just want it to taste the greatness of cheezits like I am.
he got all sad that i was going to fuck his roommate, so i just asked him if it would make him feel better if I let him motor boat me. i am such a saint.
Go to hungover. Go directly to hungover. Do not pass go. Do not collect 200 dollars
someone in the elevator just told me i looked like a struggle but i smell very pretty..
He told me that his greatest skill was making White Russians.
My night has consisted of googling cat penises and creating a Tinder profile.
I feel like people expect me to always be a sarcastic, shade throwing drunk. And you know me, I hate to disappoint.
I get sad thinking about all the sex I’m missing out on because of the virus
I instituted “quarantine and chill” months ago. It’s not like penises go soft just because they’re working at home.
Randomize
