thats the mark of a good guy. when you can period all over his leg and he still thinks you're beautiful!
I feel like you just avenged me for every guy who came in my hair
We had literally Just finished having sex when he handed me a plan B and said he lied about wearing a condom.
every time I see Anne Hathaway all I can think is "my cousin fucked a guy who fucked her" and it makes me proud.... so I want to say thank you for being that cousin.
Turns out shot glasses hold the perfect serving of sour patch kids....I still fail to see how not having any real glasses is an issue
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
He got up when I started trying to balance my wine glass on his head.
I'm not pregnant. Security came before he could.
SOMEONE has to puke in the potted plants at an Xmas party. As their boss I felt it should be me.
i don't know why he's complaining, i'm the one with four hickeys on my ass.
Now I'm ashamed that I wore a bra
I give all credit to my lucky thong, there's never a time I haven't gotten laid while wearing it
I didn't know that all of his brothers would be hot and musical too. That's a dick move on behalf of biology.
All I remember is pissing by the garage and the next thing I know I'm on fire
someone found a bottle of whiskey in the bushes this morning when they were cleaning before an admissions event. i'm 95% sure it's mine..
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