dude i dnt kno how, but i think theres a tampon in my butt
My financial advisor pointed out that 37% of my income is currently going towards "non-essential food items"
That's banker lingo for "you're an alcoholic"
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
No, man, we stole the housekeeper's key and we're just going room to room raiding mini fridges. Hurry
Logan has the vodka and snickers. We're making a run for it. Room 302
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
I don't know anybody that can get the cops to drive them back to the bar after being pulled out of a tree
it happenes
I just jerked off in front of my dog to make him jealous of my thumbs. There are consequences for stealing the last cheeto!
You still owe me a blowjob for knowing more about hurricanes than you.
You're a goddess. Probably of destruction and dick jokes, or some shit, but man, lesser bitches wish they could be half as fab.
It will be the shitshow of all shitshows.
EVEN AFTER ALL THAT COMPLAINING... STILL NO PENIS
Life is clearly unfair. You remember Courtney has three older sisters, well they're all "make baby sister look like a four" hot. I knew I shouldn't go home with her.
I just learned that I could drop out of school and spend the rest of my savings on a giraffe are you free this weekend
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