Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
Doo rag and shades in the bar. You are missing your future husband.
so I finished the entire bottle...next thing I know, it's 8 am and I wake up on the fucking beach in the low tide with a family standing about 30 feet from me just staring.
someone just laughed at me while i'm laying on the floor waiting for the bus. like they've never been hungover.
Apparently, we were running around the apartment, singing into pickles, the routinely slapped our passed out friends with them.
Haha I'm surprised I didn't see you I was drunkenly buying $70 in merchandise including a vibrating cock ring at that cvs around that time
Is it true if I say your name three times, you'll appear and whore everything up?
The narcoleptic neighbor conked out while taking her dog out again. Drinking game based on what the dog does and how long she's out. You in?
I wasn't that drunk, I know my limits. When peeing became difficult I stopped taking shots.
I STILL HAVE A HARD TIME DECIDING WHAT TO WEAR IN THE MORNING HOW WOULD IT BE POSSIBLE FOR ME TO PICK A PAIR OF PANTS AND GO OH ILL JUST WEAR THESE FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE
Even blacked out me knows not to sleep with socks on
I still judge her for aggressively trying to get coke from my date but pretty cool that she's a black belt
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
Oh no. He's definitely text-flirting with me. No straight man over 30 has any other excuse to use so many smiley faces...
I need you to know I’m weirdly very sexually attracted to Charlie Puth now
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