On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
I bet you think you're really funny for switching my line of coke with a line of protein powder.
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
Pants-less sunday? Also I'm high and independence day is making me cry
im coming over
He's currently surrounded by roughly 23 girls he fucked and never called. He may not make it out of here. Bar of doom? Or of redemption?
She called us while she was having sex to ask if we remembered to feed the cat
I dont understand how her boyfriend puts up with her weirdness
It's all good, I've hated people for lesser reasons than being my ex boyfriend's favorite pro athlete of all time
Someone sharpied "COCK HUNGRY" on my butt cheeks last night. When the fuck did I have my ass out?
I'm moving out of my place and I just gave my mom a couch that I had sex on last night. Reduce, reuse, recycle at its best.
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
I woke up this morning and had to retrieve my clothes from the flagpole, they were using my boxers as a makeshift rally flag for drinking. Yeah last night was a success.
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
So. My mom went grocery shopping for me while I was at work & brought the food here. Cool bc my dildo was laying on the counter. Forgot I left it out. I am sure she saw. Im mortified.
Randomize
