grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
She started doing push ups and calling me a pussy. Never set me up with your ROTC friends again.
its family weekend so i'm givin my little bro a tour of everywhere ive thrown up on campus
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
its warm now so i can go back to sleeping with guys based on their fuckability rather than how much warmth they generate.
Throwing up in his bed is not a step up in your relationship
Drinking ketchup directly out of the bottle does not make it tomato juice.
When I said tequila slammers would be the death of me, I didn't intend it to be today. Oh god.
why can't I meet attractive men at the places I like to hang out? like books a million. or the liquor store.
Couldn't find my swimsuit top anywhere this morning but finally found it in the skimmer of the pool so thats how my night apparently went
was it wrong to tell him he's welcome in my pants any time?
My Captain America poster fell down. Cap is disappointed in my life decisions.
I didn't pay $79 for lingerie for you to cum in 30 seconds
Got 2 free lines of blow from some random guys on the side of 13th street.....how's your Sunday going?
You know you drink too much when the bartender at your favorite bar recognizes you at chipotle with your sunglasses on.
Randomize
