thanks for house sitting, cat must be hiding again... everything go ok?
... about that ...
I'd steal beers with my tail. If I were a monkey.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
So my dad just walked in on me with the same girl twice in 3 nights. I told him if he wants to see her tits to adleast admit it. All he did was smirk.
So I think my aunt and her one legged boyfriend are getting it on in the next room. Traumatized does not even begin to describe what I am right now
Stop thinking your God dude. You passed out. God doesn't pass out...
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
Hired a new intern today and we have something in common. I blew her boyfriend in high school. Do you think she knows?
I just kept thinking.. Holy shit. We're fucking in my front yard.
I fucking hate humanity. I met a twenty three year old adult with an aol email account today. I'm not sure how those things are related, but I'm sure they are.
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
You know it's a good May 2-4 when it involves 14 straight hours of vodka slush and garlic bread
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