How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
Even the bartender felt bad for me
Just saw the first guy i ever slept with in drag. I can hear my grandfather saying "i knew she was a lesbian" somewhere
Apparently I was trying to convince him Springsteen has had buttsex. I ended the argument with "I bet he came from it too."
She set an alarm on my phone for her birthday. Place: Her bed.
I walked in on you rubbing your nose all over his face while straddling him and yelling "I'M SO SORRY!" repeatedly. I'd say you were in pretty good shape at that point in the night.
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
I ordered a million chicken go wraps and they gave me five. Even when im drunk I can count to a million and know its not five. They fucked me.
oh and speaking of men I've slept with. Ryan lost 1/3 of a testicle zip lining
And there was a legally blind kid in a ref costume doing surprisingly well at beer pong who was passing out business cards
Maybe there is a secret pocket full of cocaine in that spiderman wallet.
Oh and Dustin informs me I'm a legend amongst the freshman, if you were wondering about my street cred
sex in a hospital.. check
Why does your life consist of lesbians, black guys and cats?
lets face it, we have a liquor cabinet with a designated chocolate shelf
Randomize
