i told you the emergency thong was a good idea.
Walmart at night is scary enough without having to run into people you've slept with
Sundays should be dedicated to Girl Scout cookies, sex, and super hero movies.
Didn't know what to wear so I ripped off my bed sheets and tied myself a toga. "a little hungover" is no way to describe me right now.
Next time, dont ever let me talk to a guy drunk, especially if I have class with him the next day
Who do you have class with??
The guy that pulled down his pants in the middle of the dance floor to show me his tattoo
Says the girl who left her friends to go have phone sex in the bathroom at Michael's
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
I just poured two shots of fireball into my Rapunzel mug I love finals.
whatcha doing?
lying in bed pretending to be a slug
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
Also fuck yeah conspiracy
The fact that u had sex with a Disney prince blows my mind, you're my hero.
Fuck. I think I can already feel tomorrow's hangover. It's like future me cane back to warn present me about the impending doom but didn't turn the time dial back far enough.
If I look at him, he starts sobbing. Please come get him; he's scaring the cats.
Randomize
