you know what i hate about salt? you can't see it.
that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
ew. I made a sandwich, and the cheese reminded me of her vagina
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
Man, I must say, having known you since preschool, Eiffel-Tower-ing her would've fully completed our journey to brotherhood.
ever have one of those nights where you feel like you should leave the house with your insurance card? that is tonight, my friend.
His thanks his mom for not having an abortion at his wedding toast. I love frat weddings.
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
I'm your Election Erection Connection
I retroactively revoke all sex we've ever had.
Never thought I would be taunted by little kids about my walk of shame
Had a guy spin me around at the bar, kiss me then say "oh shit you're not who I thought you were" and then walk away.
I just googled: how soon can I pee on a stick. What is my life coming to.
Please just help me figure out where the bruise on my face came from.
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
So...a chick sucked my crank...now her dog is licking my feet. I feel like a pharoh on vacation.
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