all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
i'm laying naked in your bed you should probably come home
move.
I just told a dude I hooked up with last night he was the pick of the litter.
i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
You coming home soon, man?
HENBARSCLOSE
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
He bought a sex swing! He's building the playground of my dreams!!!!
If a cougar buys you pizza and wants to show you her newly-won house, you have sex with her. It's the law. Just being all the man I can be dude
Stop watching porn on my work computer.
STOP WORKING ON MY PORN COMPUTER.
sexting foreigners is the best. they respond with silly things like "love that tits"
Waking up drunk is great, waking up drunk and hanging with your mom is even better.
yeah, last night we handcuffed you and you started crying saying that you weren't a bad person
You are, as of last night, the self declared king of pooping. Long may you reign.
I dropped my slice of pineapple on the kitchen floor and was just staring at it about to cry. It was really good pineapple.
Randomize
