he was in the bathroom singing "will it floooaaat?? will it floooaaat?!" turns out that's a deal breaker for me.
I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
He's trying to wipe up all the spilled drinks with a banana
wait one more day. tuesday is my official "i hit on you and/or we hooked up this weekend" friend request day.
I took the precaution of putting my macbook the one place in the dorm there is no way i can piss on it... the toilet
You convinced me that eggnog and rum is a great moisturizer.
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
Wow, nothing is more special than changing the channel and seeing the guy who groped you on Saturday night...
Next time you're baked eat baked beans and potato chips together. Like dip them in the beans. It's so good
She's one of those people who could be either 16 or 23. In which case she's too old for me or in dangerously jailbait territory for you, bro.
First time a guy goes down on me and his dog had its head on my knee the whole time. I swear it was judging me.
And for some reason every time I get drunk I just want to tell you that I have a mini secret personal fan club of your dick
Had a dream we were competing for tomatos.
I sent him nudes while he is at work because I am an evil human being.
Randomize
