My Blind Date Arrived. She looks like something I'd draw with my left hand.
what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
Tell nick i'm sorry for throwing a block of cheese at him last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She thinks she's a fairy, dude. A real fucking fairy with wings and shit.
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
Dude, I found out having naked people in your car is a felony.. Now were all fucked.
To be clear, the next time I wake up with your dick inside me, I will reach down and grab one and squeeze until it pops like a grape. You've been warned.
I have a taco in my pocket for later because I am a practical drunk
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Better safe and shitfaced than hungover and in need of another surgery.
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
What was my myspace song when I went away to rehab?
Her vagina is like the upper echelon of Scientology and I don't have enough money to get in
What's the world record for number of orgasms reached on ones birthday? Asking for a friend.
I'm going to target high, just in case I ask you where my paycheck went later
Randomize