Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
This is how I know I have no life... Jon and Kate are my emotional roller coaster.
I told her she has a very organized vagina; somehow she took offense.
A guy with no shirt on and a eyepatch just got out of the car beside me. After he slammed his door into mine. This is our hometown.
I'll come out for a little. I can't be visibly hungover at work again or I get written up and fired. And yes, I am aware of how alcoholic that sounds.
It was one of those "wake up holding a random metal flower" kind of nights.
Im glad the only reason we got out of bed today was to get Halloween candy on sale.
When I tell my children how I survived hurricane Sandy I'll probably leave out the threesome
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
So I may have to sleep with a cougar to get a slightly used, yet free microwave. I'm going in
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
You know shit got weird when you watched another guy shove drugs up your wife's ass and it wasn't awkward for any of us....
Smoking weed with a blind guy, don't worry he's chill.
My life is pants optional.
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
Randomize
