FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
Hes still mad that I left the room mid-hookup to go get a pickle from the fridge.
Can we please stop calling your vagina the cave of wonders?
Who the hell poured a whole pouch of Capri Sun down my throat last night?
Went to the wedding reception, and he left with ALL of the brides maids phone numbers. I don't know how he does it either.
She sent me a map and directions for a booty call. In a park. Give me reason not to marry her.
I told you, we're just gonna get ripped and light sparklers
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
Literally too hungover to pull out of the driveway. Tried 3 times and failed. I'm going back to bed.
Besides, I don't need any more men there who have seen my tits. #bearwatch2014
Just walked out of the train bathroom after having sex and got a round of applause from the passengers. Definitely the best part of the trip.
sam was dropping a deuce next to me. wrote me a note that said "glad we shared this experience." passed it under the wrong stall. the other guy picked it up. that's all I know so far.
But yeah, I am thinking that "Cake Heresy" will now be a thing
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