i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
We decided to go to McDs, but we only had a few minutes to make it to breakfast. We were sprinting full speed ahead when she tripped and you just yelled 'LEAVE HER' and kept your course.
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
So many people have lost their virginity on my futon... I think it is only the right thing to bronze it and put it on display
She gave him a lap dance on the glass table. You can guess how that ended
i can recognize that vagina from a mile away
My neighbor is on the his front porch in a robe dipping a popsicle into what appears to be vodka. I want to be his son.
Her pussy was so beautiful. That's what I'LL miss the most. Not the omelets. You're the roommate, obviously our priorities on this situation are vastly different.
He sent me an email apologizing for sleeping with her...and by that I mean he sent a picture of his dick to my school e-mail
That's the second time in a week someone has called me to talk drunk you into getting up off the floor. This needs to stop.
My stepdad and I just tag-team hit on a server at McDonald's. This is the man I should have grown up with.
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
Dont even get me started. you fell asleep in my kitchen after being cockblocked when you tried to use my roommates bedroom.
Do you remember biting my ear and whispering quotes of Pride and Prejudice last night?
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