U dropped me off n it hit me, i made it inside for exactly shit thirty on the nose, another minute n i would of had brown trowsers
so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
She just messaged me 19 sad faces.
Tipped our cab with a photo booth pic of us, a paper dollar, a dollar in quarters, a crest white strip. And a tanning pass valid in boston
my head hurts. i need an adult
and not like a cool parent adult. like a full fledged party pooper grandparent adult
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
I told him he wasn't aloud to one word text me. Unless that one word was threesome
I miss you too. And it was nice meeting your brother while I was mounting you
He left in the middle of the night, he left his shoes behind and stole my doc martens..size 6 female. Wtf?
You know it's a good weekend when you wake up on Sunday questioning your sexuality.
So wait. Let me get this straight lol... you... are are considering offering fetish services to "trample and own" someone for $80 in order to pay for someone to come organize ur shit? Pure genius.
There is a high possibility I will pass out with my hand in a bag of Doritos
I will be DAMNED if anyone but me breastfeeds my cat.
I just realized. I havent even gotten a paycheck from this new job yet and already laid one of the girls most of the dudes are after
Randomize
