I decided to name my penis gatorade...is it in you?
that speech was about as successful as her performance in twilight
He asked about stds. I told him I don't have any... which I don't. They are now called sti's. Whooopsie
This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
Pretty girls always come out on top. Or bottom. Whatever. Point is we come out with their boyfriends.
sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
Vodka and Eggs at 9:30AM = thank you, America.
he just told me he'd rather go to the pirates game. i know it was desperate but i said id give him roadhead if he let me come along.
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
I thought he wouldn't talk to me again. You know, what's that saying "why buy the cow when you can fuck it six hours after meeting"
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
wine lets you be on time to class apparently
This is a dangerous realization
If I don't have the money by then, I'll pay you in sex.
It's going to be 23.5 times of sex and 19 blow jobs. I just googled it.
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
Randomize
