So i'm in mason getting an ultrasound.. and there are a bunch of hicks in here with their wild ass children and this one young mom yells at her kid "harley sit!"
You should introduce yourself as garth. As in garth brooks.
hey what are you doing
hooking up with some marlborough girl. shes gorgeous!
i texted you because i like you, and i told my freinds you were my fiance. but sine we're not dating you're not cheating and i'm pathetic
I would give my right arm to go back to college. Or maybe not. Would be kinda hard to pick up guys with one arm. Then again, knowin what I do now...I could take any freshman bithc with only one arm.
I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
ugh. my soul tastes like vodka
I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
There's always time for handjobs
my boobs are worth more now than the blue book value of my car.
Turns out I sent a dick pic to my sister's ex. Grindr is the devil's eharmony.
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
So this is how i'm celebrating Easter? By eating chicken nuggets and masturbating all day. What a life.
His beard looks like it smells like beer, cocaine and old pussy juice
he was just sitting there in his underwear... and his chewbacca mask...
Randomize
