thankjk goddddn taco bell uis open htis lateee!
you do know it's eleven in the afternoon, right?
I've really got to stop smuggling half full bottles of beer out of bars in my purse.
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
I chugged vodka from a 15 ft snorkel. What the fuck did you do with your life today?
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
I threw up in bed last night and tried cleaning it with oldspice and baby powder
Just saw a rice crispy commercial and got emotional. I need to go home.
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
I legit just swiped right with a Tinder feminist just to get in an argument with her. Soo that's my Friday night so far...
My professor just asked for my number. Not fucking her till after finals though I learned my lesson last time.
I'M NOT EVEN STOPPING FOR WINE SO I CAN GET TO THAT DICK QUICKER.
Once you find out someone has a small dick, you never look at them the same again.
i told you i was taking the Metra Train, and you asked what type of drug that was.. so yes i believe you when you say you were fucked up
Our love of vodka is more proof than a maternity test
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