Sundresses, hats, and big glasses. That is the greatest trick the devil ever taught women.
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
Def regretting not writing "will blow for extra credit" on my last final
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
My penis has a 100% approval rating. He has never received a formal complaint. If you'd like to file one, you can go fuck yourself.
She's going to get preggers, drop out of school, and end up working at mcdonalds. Great for our mcdoubles habit but bad for her future.
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
Look, the fact that I didn't kick him out and rip your clothes off speaks very highly of me.
If I had pants on, you wouldn't be getting this text message
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
He says he invented a new sex move called The Redbird that we can only do when I'm on my period. Should I be concerned?
Based on your 5AM twitter activity I gather you found MORE FREE COKE??
Do you wanna fuck while my apple pie is in the oven?
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
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