The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
You Were screaming "Im trying to get it in" and "stop cock blocking" while i threw you in the car
He's hungover and at the neighbour's garage sale negotiating a price for a tuba.
Using the salt from a pretzel bag for tequila shots. Come over.
I can't live in this building much longer. People are starting to figure out that it's me making the weird sex noises.
I was busy. But now I'm about to consume alcohol and chicken. We shall see where this takes us. Maybe to the moon, maybe to the floor. I have no idea.
The kind of drunk where you put two tampons in thinking that it'll last me longer ...
Moral of the story: don't have drunken shower sex with the lights off...or you WILL break your foot. And the shower knobs.
What does that mean when you have a child masturbating in your dream? Is that weird?
He says I vaguely mumbled happy New year, kissed him, threw up and then went back to sleep.
Major life highlight, she said my dick taste like coffee.
Currently on my Sunday walk of shame. Should I go to church?
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
But being sober is boring. Everything takes so long, I feel like I'm just waiting in line to die.
Randomize
