there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
I don't know what's more sad: The fact that he fingered the side of my leg, or the fact that the side of my leg feels like a vagina.
You didn't want to have sex last night because you said your grandpa just died and you didn't want him watching..
Is it possible to get a DUI in a wheelchair that's not yours?
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
My mom ate salad out of the vodka bowl
Just found out I called my mom at six in the morning to ask where the bong was. I win.
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
Chilling on my porch debating between pre work drinking or video games and getting high.
There is a stockpile of mangos and vodka in my backyard and I'm at least 90% sure you had something to do with it.
Taking dicks and breaking hearts, no better life
It's like all the guys I keep around if I wanna have sex with all got mad at the same time. I guess I'll get out my vibrator again.
They just made me take another shot and I found out the liquor store next to my brothers house has a petting zoo
Mind. Blown.
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
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