My Dad named our wireless network after my dead grandma. I refuse to look up porn on my dead grandma...
Wait, we're on the hunt for addys and explosives. They're both in this house somewhere.
you lied. pity sex is amazing.
if you don't go out with us, what are you gonna do? you're gonna go home and watch biodome and masturbate to texts from your east coast boyfriend and see the facebook pictures from the party when you wake up.
And then she banged "the first Italian rapper"
Ok now a guy in a winnie the pooh costume is grinding on some chick to the song shots
It took me 3 tries to get up the front steps. They kept me motivated by waving taco bell just out of my reach. Surprisingly effective.
she's an english major so her sexts are something i look forward to
I'll be there with bells on. And by "bells" I mean "jäger bombs". And by "on" I mean "being poured down my gullet".
Got high again and all I want to do is wave this flag around
she dared me to make out with the amish dude so I went up to him and grabbed him by the beard
GRABBED HIM BY THE BEARD
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
Also I ordered a dildo and I'm not sure if I want it still, so there might be a free dildo in your future
It's not even 8pm on a Friday and I've already got a guy to tell me how big his penis is. Watched anything good on Netflix lately?
It's 3 am. Nothing I've tried can get the taste of failure and vomit out of my mouth.
Randomize
