I brought red and green boonsfarm to the white elephant party. classy and festive. I think this is what people are referring to when they talk about killing two birds with one stone.
You were passed out on the chair and when I asked you if you were okay you looked up and said "I'm fine, I was just pretending for a picture" then passed out again.
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
Two portable blenders. We are going to be popular and dangerous.
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
He and I are basically the same person, except he has a glorious penis and I have glorious breasts.
I cartwheeled across every street... They tried to stop me but I bit anyone who came near me
You had your dick do your apologizing for you last night. Apology accepted.
We have a bucket list tonight. Not done yet. Gotta climb a building
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
My vagina is glad I'm back at work because it needs a vacation after working all through my vacation.
Is it weird that the best sex I've ever had was to Barbara Streisand's Christmas album?
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
After the "sex" was over I dressed as quickly as possible. And then he came over to me stark naked and embraced me. For over a minute. And all I could think was please get your penis off my dress.
Why did I wake up with a half-eaten burrito and a vaccuum cleaner in my bed? ...on top of me.
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