I wanna wear you like a flannel shirt
Dan just whipped out his wang to piss in a milk jug! Hello weekend.
i just found a bag of weed behind my capital one card. i guess that's what's in my wallet.
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i convinced her i was a yoga teacher by showing her some warm-ups my high school track coach made up
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
you looked at her and told her she looks like the girl you lost your virginity to then told her you wanted to lose it to her again
I have a fever. Last thing I need to do tonight is be elbow deep in old lady pussy.
I can't figure out how to eat twizzlers and I have to be at a wedding reception in an hour.
Please never have kids.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm shaved like a Brazilian hooker right now.
I have the flu.
I don't give a shit
I would say that that is the last time I ever drink a bottle of jack in two hours, but really who am I kidding?
Because I'm currently dying, lacking waffles, and vaguely convinced I'm an eagle
Anybody can graduate from college sober. You try it while being stoned every day for the last three years. 2.75 baby.
I cant believe you made me read bad furry sexts
But Keith is doing MDMA for New Years and he's 39.
Keith has a beautiful 20 year old girlfriend, a good job and a cute puppy. We can't all be Keith.
But I want to be Keith.
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