he has cookie breath... dont trust fat people.
I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
The doctor wrote 'condom retrieval' on my discharge paper.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well if all fails we can always become surrogate mothers. I hear that pays well.
Edward fifth and chaser hands
His new job just became new places to have sex at.
He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!!
You fucked her?! HER?!
She sent me a nudie pic with a bunch of weed nuggets all over her tits...what was I supposed to do? I don't hate America sir.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The last thing I remember from that party was me shouting "hold my feet I'm going in strapped like Rambo"
I don't need my coworkers thinking I'm a nutcase.
You gift wrapped a tampon.
Of course I fucked him. He's a professional beat boxer, his entire job is to do complicated shit with his tongue.
I'm only coming over if you have cocaine or a snickers bar
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
Plan b and 5 hour enegery breakfast of a champion
Randomize