So drunk, too bad you don't want this
i thought i was pinching her nipple. It was her mole
Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
Goddamn it, are you fucking her sister?
did you know it's going to storm tonight?
You bitch. At least tell Laura she's a better kisser.
He told me i had to sleep under his bed. He said it would be my castle.
Look, if he's not the brother with three nipples, I'm just not interested.
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
so when he he finally wandered back into the room it was with a pound of cream cheese which he ate in 5 minutes flat and then passed out
Yeah she let me pull the goalie and wear my USA flag like a cape since it was the first day of the world cup
Come to this bar
But I'm full of food.
MAKE ME FULL OF YOUR DICK
Like why am I even still facebook friends with a guy I let finger me at a concert?
But at least i made friends with the nice lesbian cop. She knew i was her kind when she had to confiscate my rainbow/pride rolling papers.
Last thing I remember at your house last night is your dad leaning on the beer pong table and saying "you guys can fucking party"
I woke up with my shoes on but pants in the fish tank
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
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