Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
Since when do you wear a bracelet?
Not a bracelet. Half a pair of handcuffs
I just got a ticket for the snow penis we made in our front yard.
he calls his bong barack obonga, commander in kief. i found where i belong.
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
You look me right in the eyes and yelled "By the power of the superglue beer sword, I designate you my driver!" I almost felt honored.
i woke up in his neighbors pool house. Not sure how I got here but there is people swimming outside. how do I escape?
just fucking run.
I can HEAR him staring at your boobs.
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
still not dressed at 5:00, jacking off watching men's figure skating and hoping my weird roommate doesn't walk in. anybody who says idk how to have fun is wrong
Are you the reason I woke up without pants?
Why would you call when you knew I'd be having sex!?
Why would you answer?
I legitimately thought he died. I even called his mom at 3am and told her. Im done with vodka.
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
I dunno about you, but I consider getting eaten out on the porch of a houseboat in -30c in a bridesmaids dress a northern right of passage
Randomize
