you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
Ya know, in a round about way coinstar is just a glorified vending machine for all my bad choices.
He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
After four attempts, his condom would not flush. I had to remove it with salad tongs.
The slot machines are wishing me happy birthday. Mission success.
We got security called on us. Apparently the wedding down the street didn't appreciate the trespassing or our loud as fuck rendition of We Are Young.
I seem to have forgotten that I am wearing a one piece bathing suit under my clothes
PROFESSOR JUST TOOK A SHOT WITH US BEFORE CLASS. WELCOME TO THE LAST DAY OF FINALS.
Swear to god you say cuddle bunny one more time and honest to god I will sacrifice a bunny on the hood of your car
i formally give you permission to eat me when i pass out
And after peeing my pants waiting outside for him, i proceeded to drop down and roll in the nearest puddle to pretend like i just ate shit when he arrived
I will feed you tacos. I will touch your butt. Happy Valentine's Day ❤️
YOU WAXED MY CAT YOU SICK FUCK
Never make a coconut bikini from a real coconut.
I smell like old thai food.
You waddled all the way home with your shoes in a construction cone. I'm glad to call you my Bestfriend.
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