you screamed 'he won't go on a date with me, but he gave me a free junior chicken'
well imagine, me dating the manager equals free junior chickens for everyone
you used progresso chicken soup as a mixer last night
Awesome. My fame will spread to DC... As will the herpes.
I just did a sobriety test in a tutu.
I dont think that yelling at the medic "Christmas is gone, fuck off santa" was the best idea when you couldnt feel your legs.
I thought I was invisible, then some guy flashed his high beams at me and I realized my lights weren't on...not invisible.
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
Please make sure you have solid number of friends around you that wouldn't be afraid to break a bottle and stab someone. If you're planning on drinking all of that, you're going to need a safety net.
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
You took motorboating me in public to a whole new level. You poured your beer down my top and LAPPED IT UP.
MY BUTT IS BIG ENOUGH FOR AN ANACONDA AND HE DOESNT GET TO ENJOY IT TOUGH SHIT
In the middle of pounding my asshole he stopped and said, "do you want to get breakfast after this?"
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
I ordered from the drive thru as i was peeing on the menu
I just bought a slurpee and condoms. God bless America.
Randomize
