you always know who the new freshman are on fb because theyre always wearing prom dresses
My mom is giving me a "don't tape yourself during sex" talk. It's going to be a long car ride.
i feel like when youre not in my profile picture no one knows who i am.
you just used a box of cheese-its to get into the bar
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he forgot there was a midterm today. i watched him break his own finger to get out of it.
I walked home with an awkward asain couple. There was a language barrier but I think we're friends now.
Hundreds of bug bites..Dad jokingly says "looks like you passed out naked in the woods somewhere"
bring the dog... nobody goes to jail with a dog.
He autographed my vag. This fuck just got authentic.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was great. They teamed up to hit on these two frat boys all night, until the frat boys started making out with each other. The looks on their faces...
arnt you supposed to become a mature adult when you move out of your parents house?
Moving out doesnt mean I'm mature, it means I can make pancakes and bacon at 3 in the morning and no one can judge me.
Buying her a drink is like giving a seagull a French fry, all you're gonna do is get annoyed and shit on
Fuck. I have to get my shit together by lunch. Mission impossible.
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
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