I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
so i just drove past a racoon and a kid on a long board... god i love 4am white castle runs
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
omg i hate the new neighbors. why cant a bitch just be hungover in peace on a wednesday morning.
Btw, whenever you feel discouraged about your life, think about me being frantically upset bc my mobile porn site limited me to only 5 videos a day
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
Halloween is the only night where I would ever end up getting a guy's makeup all over my face
I am a woman. I need to be selective about the porn I stream on my phone. Who knows if my cell will ever get lost, who will see it and what they'd think otherwise. Keepin' it classy tampa.
Instead of asking him how many women he's slept with I just got straight to the point and asked how many Plan B pills he's purchased
There was a clear and well defined point last night where I could've decided to go home but no now I've woken up with glitter all over my nuts and potentially an std or 2
Just please don't close your legs while I'm down there again. I don't want my death to be labeled as "Head crushed while giving an individual cunnilingus".
This is not the first time I've recognized my body is subconsciously trying to make pizza.
Nothing like introducing yourself to your high school boyfriend's wife as "the girl who took his virginity"
I cant believe you made me read bad furry sexts
He had me sit on his face until I begged him to stop, then held me there 5 minutes longer. I rested my head on his chest, told him I needed time to recover....and slept for 6 hours. By the time I woke, he was already at work. I just sent him a countdown times until his shift is over.
Randomize
