Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
I just took a shit in a BP station. It seemed appropriate since they are shtting in our ocean.
If I don't wake up hungover in a ditch Monday morning I will consider my halloween a failure
malibu coconut giveth, and malibu coconut taketh away
Do I need to take a photo of my sister's enlarged and disgustingly dark nipples to scare you into protection? DO I?
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
I swear that when we jog in the morning I can hear it slap between his thighs
Spider-Man is making out with Wonder Woman while Captain Kirk feels up Princess Lea. Nice to see nerd barriers broken down at Comic Con.
Honestly I was sitting in managerial accounting thinking "I really need to get my shit together and stop drinking so much wine." But when you asked I realized... it's wine. It's always a yes.
I smoked too much. I'm sitting on my balcony and I keep getting lost. Help me
yeah the cops just showed up and they got there ass handed to them at beer pong.
My sensibilities as a lady demand we cuddle on the couch, and THEN have loud, raunchy sex. Idk, what do you want to do?
Man the amount of drugs being done at a wedding with a bunch of surgeons was disturbing
He's a college graduate, has an excellent job, and respects his family. To say nothing of his 8.5 inch cock. His narcolepsy not withstanding...I'm marrying this motherfucker.
Randomize
