So, halfway through sex he stops and starts crying. He said he's worried god hates him for all his bad decisions...think he meant to imply I was one of them...
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
Well, I'm getting my ex-boyfriend to get me a z pack to cure the chlamydia I got from my married fuck buddy so that I can fuck one of my students.
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
Did the vodka turn my hair yellow or did something else happen last night?
I woke up at 6am to a knock and a naked guy at my window.
I just mistook cooking oil for the whiskey that was also on the counter... They're the same colour. That was not a good shot... I need to not drink alone.
Currently sitting in the movie theatre bathroom while she gives him a blowjob in the parking lot. Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend.
My head feels like Jesus is projectile vomiting hammers on it
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
This is ridiculous. I’m in fucking college getting high off a potato.
I could tell my life story through kermit memes
It's the first weekend of the school year and I'm already selling stuff for booze. Need a microwave?
last night I learned that if you try to buy tacos in this town, that you will be stopped by three cop cars with breathalizers
Randomize
