I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
My brother brings gifts into my room to wrap them. It's a pizza cutter and a box of condoms..
Classy. Drunk on alcoholic "energy drink" at work before 8 am on a Tuesday. Between that and hanging out in bars with no pants on, your life is beginning to sound like a Bukowski novel.
I like your house better though. Cause it has febreeze and lube.
I don't think you have any idea how kinky that sounds.
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
I don't see what kind of idea someone could get from an envelope covered in jesus stickers and a note from a person and their dog. I'd say crazy person alert before flirting.
I just took the soggiest of beer shits and all i have to eat is shredded cheese and more beer. I need an adult.
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
All I remember is being in the middle of the road puking and my bestfriend cheering me on from the passenger seat...
FIVE TIMES AND I HAVENT GOTTEN OFF ONCE
literally yelled NOOOO right before he finished .. yelled “five times and I still haven’t gotten off” when he was still inside me ..
Said “don’t worry I’ll get myself off tomorrow” to top it all off
dude me and this dog are gonna go bond oon the tramplene with stromboli... i think everyone is staring at me... being this high is SO stressful
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