so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
Turns out you can't chew it over with twix in real life
Dude I've never seen anyone get slapped that hard
OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
I looked her in the eye and told her I was 'balls deep' in love with her...She said that wasn't saying much. Time to drink away the sadness...
And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
I KNOW. I'm like, ew who are these ppl. And then I remember I'm traveling to New York to accidentally hook it with two different dudes in one weekend.
riding the spinning bikes at the rec after Valentines Day was a baaddddd idea
I just witnessed my first non cocain induced sunrise in five years.
Not my cup of tea
NEW RULE: can't hook up with more than 50% of the groomsmen in wedding party or it becomes wrong kind of weird. NUMBERS GAME.
Come over. I'll eat you out and we'll make bacon.
best text I've received ever.
As a Chick-Fil-A employee, I think you'd appreciate the visual of me almost accidentally pulling out my wallet with a thong hooked on it as I payed for my waffle fries just now.
We're friends with benifits... The benifits being I'm fucking her boyfriend
I just realized this morning that my fridge is stocked with coronas, hot dogs, and cheese dip. And I just got waxed. High-five, your best friend is on track to be all kinds of slutty fun this wkd.
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