The Mets? Come back? That'd be like Nickelback writing a good song.
I just pulled the condom that i lost on tues out of me at work ewwww!
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
he's wearing our apron and eating a pb and oreo sandwich. and calling the oreos "topless" since he took their tops off...
If a video of someone that looks like me banging that chick on the hood of her car in some parking lot suddenly shows up on the web... let me know, I gotta see how that turned out.
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
So update from last night: I made friends with a coke dealer, I tore the card scanner off the wall of my dorm, and I passed out on our bathroom counter with my head in the sink.
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
Way too stoned bro. Was laying down on my back and thought for a good 30 mins what it would be like to be a turtle stuck on its shell
Jesus christmas you are like the Martha Stewart of threeway planning
Also this guy fingered me at the bar and then gave me his card
She is dumping me if she doesn't get a ring by Valentines. So one more month of free sex and it will be back to the right hand.
I just did the math technically I'll be drunk until 2:30-3:00pm
I woke up on the damn lawn again...it's not even summer yet
Randomize
